As the deer longs for streams of water, so long for you, O God. I thirst for God, the living God. When can I go and stand before Him? (Psalm 42 vs 1-2)

After the creation of Adam and Eve, God said that the two should become one. Becoming “one” does not mean that we lose our personal identities. We retain our personalities, and we still have personal goals and ambitions. We each have our own pursuits; the typical husband and wife spend many hours each day geographically separated from each other.

Marital “Oneness” is not sameness. It is rather that inner feeling that assures us that we are “together” even when we are apart. Such oneness is not automatic. Becoming “one” is the result of many shared thoughts, feelings, activities, dreams, frustrations. Joys and sorrows. In short, it is the result of sharing life.

Many couples have found that the secret to growing in “oneness” is establishing a daily sharing time. Many people have a daily “quiet time” with God for the purpose of getting close to Him. 

As the author of Psalms 42 conveys so beautifully, when we are strong in our relationship with God, we long for Him and desire to be near Him. It’s a bit circular. When we know God, we desire to spend time with Him. If we spend time with Him, we begin to desire Him more. The same thing can be true with our spouse. 

The more we set aside time to spend together, the more important it becomes to us. I encourage you to consider having a daily sharing time with your spouse for the purpose of staying close to each other. Set aside time each day to talk and to share your thoughts, emotions and concerns. Conversations lead to understanding and unity.


Father, I want to long for you as a Deer long for water. And in the same way, I desire a deeper connection with my spouse. Please help me to remember that connection and oneness come with time and effort. Please bless our efforts and to set aside time for each other.