Learning the right Love Language

Live a life filled with love, follow the example of Christ. He loved us and offer Himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God. (Ephesian 5:2)

What would you like your spouse to do for you? Your answer to this question will probably reveal your primary love language. If your answer is clean out the garage, paint the bedroom, vacuum the floors, wash dishes, or walk the dog, then your primary love language is acts of service.

If you would really like your spouse to hold your hand when you go for a walk, your primary love language is probably physical touch. When you know which of the five love language most connects you with your spouse, you know what needs to happen to really make both of you feel loved.

Before you start preaching to your spouse about speaking your love language, stop and ask yourself, does my spouse feel loved by me? You might even ask your spouse; “on a scale of 0-10 how full is your love tank? That is, how much you will feel loved by me”? if the answer is anything less than 10, ask, what could I do to help fill it?

Whatever your spouse suggests, do it to the best of your ability. After all, in Ephesians 5 Paul challenges us to “live a life filled with love.” When we follow Christ’s example and offer love freely to each other, good things happen. As you learn to speak your spouse’s love language, chances are, your spouse will learn to speak yours.


Lord, I want to please you through my acts of love and service to my husband or wife. Help me to focus my energy on him/her not on myself. Enrich our marriage through expression of love.