Respect everyone, and love your Christian brothers and sisters (1 Peter 2:17)
I have heard many people say, “My spouse won’t talk with me.” If this describes your marriage, the question is, why? One reason some spouse go silent is negative communication patterns. Here are some questions to help you think about your own patterns. Consider whether you often come across as negative or complaining.
- Do I listen to my spouse when he talks, or do I cut him off and give my response?
- Do I allow my partner space when she needs it, or do I force the issue of communication, even at those times when she needs to be along?
- Do I maintain confidence, or do I broadcast our private conversations to others?
- Do I openly share my own needs and desires in the form or request rather than demands?
- Do I give my spouse the freedom to have opinions that differ from my own, or am I quick to “set him straight”?
If you answer yes to the second half of any of these questions, it may be time to change your communication patterns. It’s all about treating your spouse (and all believers) with respect and love, as 1 Peter 2:17 directs. Doing so may loosen the tongue of a silent spouse.
P R A Y E R
Father, please forgive me for all the times I have been disrespectful to my spouse in the way I talk. I have not listened, been demanding and controlling, and breached confidences. I know that kind of behavior is not loving. I pray that you would help me commit to a new, better way of communicating.